Honky-dory 2025: New Thrust in Twenty Days
Letter from New Delhi
After Captain America trumpets changes, all problems solved
By Kul Bhushan
Just twenty-four days! Yes, all you need is a mere 24 days (starting today), and every — yes, every — problem in this world will be solved in the new year. And everything will be honky-dory.
How? Simple! The new global ruler will impose his absolute will, commanding and managing the world according to his orders and direction.
With his orders signed on the first day, Donald Trump claims this big new thrust to change the world will become honky dory in just 20 days in the new year. The world is waiting for these surprises and shocks. Pic – AP
Trumpeting his arrival, Captain America will move into the capital city and immediately sign dozens of commands with his massive signature that looks like a world map and the action begins. Or ends in some cases. Faced with a massive to-do list, he has to end two global wars in full swing, stop the arrival of thousands upon thousands of desperate hordes to the good life in his country, flood of cheap goods bursting in the shops, impose higher taxes due to unfair trade agreements, overspending and overstaffing in his realm, and the list goes on and on.
Wars End
The wars demand urgent response. He has assured everyone that his one phone call to his bearish friend will end the European war within 24 hours. Really? Yes, it’s that simple. What has been going on since February 2022 with attacks by land and sea, bombing, killing and destruction. All this will stop in 24 hours once he attends to it.
The other one in the Middle East is equally complicated. Here is a single country fighting around half a dozen enemies on different fronts since October 2023 when Arab radicals attacked Israel and took 251 hostages. Despite constant bombing by Israel and killing of 45,000 in Gaza, 117 hostages have been released although backstage negotiations have been going on. American aid in billions of dollars has financed this war and Captain America is not happy about all this cash flow. As a tough paymaster, he has threatened to reduce if not end this aid to end this war. Will this work?
Stop Illegals
At home, he has wowed to stop the huge march of illegal entrants into his country. The massive inflow of thousands upon thousands of non-residents trying to become citizens makes him livid. They take away jobs from locals, commit crimes and increase poverty, he claims. He does not bother if these newcomers perform unskilled jobs, keep the economy moving, pay taxes, add to national revenue. He just wants them out by sending them back and for this humongous task, he is willing to deploy his army, if needed.
Then he wants to cut the size of his government by reducing its staff and spending. For this task, he has appointed the world’s richest man to slash the flab. This announcement has sent shivers down the spines of civil servants. Watch out!
Expanding Borders
As a shrewd businessman takes over weak companies, he does not mind acquiring some more countries. Already he has dubbed his northern neighbour as the 51st state and ordained its governor, even if in jest. South of his border is a crucial canal vital for shipping which his country built but gave away in 1999 but now he wants it back because his ships are charged higher rates to use it. Moreover, he has made noises to acquire a remote Artic country as well.
Reshape Trade
Most of all, he wants to reshape global trade which he strongly believes is unfair for his country by raising tariffs on imports. This will be a major shakeup for international trade. His other tasks are aimed at energy, health, education, internal security, crime, climate among others. To carry them out, he has appointed his team of loyalists, many of whom are millionaires, if not billionaires, to bring business sense to his government.
With his orders signed on the first day, he claims this big new thrust to change the world will become honky dory in just 20 days in the new year. The world is waiting for these surprises and shocks.
Mauritius Times ePaper Friday 27 December 2024
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