The Decent Man vs The Digital Scoundrel

Celebrating Men on International Men’s Day

Socratic Dialogue

By Plutonix

Characters:

* Socrates: The philosopher, eternally in pursuit of definitions.

* Cephalus: An aeging, wealthy gentleman, who values tradition and simple goodness.

Setting: A quiet veranda in Athens, shortly after the observance of International Men’s Day.

Socrates: My dear Cephalus, you seem uncommonly cheerful today. Did your recent business venture yield more than you anticipated, or did some divine messenger whisper a good jest into your ear?

Cephalus: Neither, Socrates, neither. But I have been reflecting upon the recent observance of International Men’s Day. A truly fine idea, don’t you think? To set aside a day to honour the contributions of men to the polis — the everyday, honest men who live decent lives, contribute to the family, and serve as role models. It warms the heart of an old man, it truly does.

Socrates: Ah, the celebration of the “Decent Man.” A noble pursuit. Yet, the question gnaws at my soul, Cephalus: What, precisely, is a “Decent Man”? And how does one confirm his decency, especially when the news itself seems to hold a contradictory ledger?

Cephalus: Contradictory ledger? What nonsense is this, Socrates? We speak of men of good character. Men who embody the “Six Pillars” of this fine day: positive role models, contributors to the community, promoters of health. It is quite straightforward.

Socrates: Straightforward, you say? Let us examine the Pillar concerning the “positive contributions of men to society, community, family, and marriage.” A weighty and beautiful pillar indeed. But tell me, Cephalus, if a man is said to be a contributor to his family, does that contribution not cease when he is, shall we say, the author of its tragedy?

Cephalus: Of course it does! No decent man harms his family. That is self-evident.

Socrates: Self-evident, perhaps, to you and me, but the universal truth seems less solid. I recently read a report that spoke of a chilling, global arithmetic: it is estimated that some 80,000 women and girls were intentionally killed in a single year, and roughly 60% of those killings were at the hands of an intimate partner or family member.

Cephalus: Sixty per cent? By the very men they share a roof with? By fathers, brothers, husbands? Gods above! That is a grievous stain on the concept of contribution.

Socrates: Indeed. If we say a man contributes positively to the family by being a loving partner, but 60% of these most heinous crimes are committed by men against their families, does that not suggest that for every man we celebrate under that Pillar, there is another man actively dismantling the foundation of that very Pillar? Is the celebration, then, merely a recognition of the potential for decency, rather than the reality of universal good conduct?

Cephalus: You are making my head spin, Socrates. You wish to hold all men accountable for the vile acts of a few rogues?

Socrates: Not accountable, Cephalus, but confused! We celebrate “positive role models” while reports simultaneously remind us that “every ten minutes, a woman is killed in the world.” Now, if a role model demonstrates that his contribution involves a fatal act against his partner, what lesson does that convey to the young men we are striving to nurture? Does the Decent Man simply exist outside this bloody statistic?

Cephalus: He must, Socrates. The Decent Man is defined by his non-participation in such horrors.

Socrates: So, to be a Decent Man, one must merely refrain from murder? That seems a rather low bar for a celebratory pillar, does it not? We do not celebrate a donkey for failing to assault a citizen; we expect it.

Cephalus: (Sighing) Then we must celebrate men for their active good. For protecting their communities, for showing kindness, for their courage.

Socrates: A wonderful thought. But let us turn our gaze from the hearth to the new, ethereal agora — the world of digital communication. This modern sphere offers new pathways for our active good, surely?

Cephalus: The digital world is too fast for me, Socrates, but I assume good men use it for good purpose: sharing wisdom, trading ideas, perhaps sending charming images of kittens.

Socrates: I have learned of a new practice, Cephalus, called sextorsion, where men — or boys, or others, though the complaints often target men — extort and abuse women and girls by threatening to expose intimate images. The reports from Mauritius alone mention 565 such cases being recorded since the beginning of this year, and over 1,100 cases of online harassment.

Cephalus: Five hundred and sixty-five? Sextorsion? What manner of monstrous behaviour is this? Where is the courage or kindness in using a private trust to inflict public humiliation?

Socrates: This brings us to another Pillar, Cephalus: “To promote a positive conversation about men, manhood, and masculinity.” When we see that a digital handshake of trust can become a digital shackle of sextorsion, and that online violence is so rampant it leads to organised public campaigns with names like “Fam kone to drwa online” (Woman, know your rights online), what is the “positive conversation” we are meant to be having about the nature of the modern man?

Cephalus: The conversation must be about restraint and respect, Socrates!

Socrates: Ah, Restraint. Is Restraint the essence of Manhood, then? If a man is defined as “one who could do evil but chooses not to,” is that not merely a definition of every decent citizen, regardless of gender? If International Men’s Day simply means “People who don’t break the law,” then why not call it International Non-Felon Day? It lacks a certain lyrical quality, I admit.

Cephalus: You are being intentionally difficult, Socrates! The Day is a complement to International Women’s Day! It is meant to address the unique struggles of men — mental health, suicide rates, societal pressure to be stoic…

Socrates: And I commend the Pillar “To Focus on Men’s Health and Well-being.” It is vital that we address the silent suffering that afflicts so many men. But I ask you: Does the pressure to be stoic — the pressure to conceal emotion — not also feed the very violence we observe? Does the man who cannot express vulnerability not become the man who expresses dominance?

Cephalus: (Rubbing his temples) I… I believe I see your point. The same societal pressure that creates the silent sufferer on Men’s Day may also create the violent aggressor in the home. One is a victim of a flawed definition of masculinity, and the other is an active agent of it. Both stem from a culture that struggles to define the good man.

Socrates: Precisely, Cephalus. We are celebrating the “Good Man” before we have defined him. We are to promote gender equality, yet the reports tell us of femicide being elevated to a distinct crime in some lands, recognizing the systemic nature of violence against women. How can we meaningfully promote equality when the scale of inequality is measured in thousands of lives extinguished by partners and family members?

Cephalus: The Day must be a commitment to change, then, Socrates. It cannot be merely a celebration. It must be a commitment from all men to live up to the highest potential of the first Pillar: to be a Positive Role Model, actively resisting the cruelty, control, and dominance that underpin violence.

Socrates: A commitment, yes. And a difficult one. The challenge for International Men’s Day, my old friend, seems to be this: How does one celebrate the quiet strength and decency of a man who supports his family, when that celebration occurs against a backdrop where, statistically, the man most likely to kill a woman is her own partner?

Cephalus: (Looking out over the city) You have turned my cheerfulness into a sober realization, Socrates. We cannot simply raise a glass to the Decent Man and assume his virtue is infectious. We must define the Decent Man not by what he is not, but by what he actively fights against, both in himself and in the world.

Socrates: Well said, Cephalus. And until we have successfully defined this Active Goodness, this International Men’s Day, for all its noble intention, remains a celebration of an ideal that is in perpetual conflict with the evidence. Come, let us go inside. My thirst for a good drink now rivals my thirst for a good definition, and in both cases, I seem to be coming up short.

The two men rise, leaving the uncomfortable silence of the unsolved problem hanging in the Athenian air.

Mauritius Times ePaper Friday 28 November 2025