{"id":29412,"date":"2020-11-17T07:28:56","date_gmt":"2020-11-17T03:28:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/?p=29412"},"modified":"2020-11-17T07:28:56","modified_gmt":"2020-11-17T03:28:56","slug":"why-you-shouldnt-want-to-always-be-happy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/why-you-shouldnt-want-to-always-be-happy\/","title":{"rendered":"Why you shouldn\u2019t want to always be happy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"11847\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/what-happens-to-your-facebook-account-and-your-email-messages-when-you-die\/the-conversation\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/The-Conversation-e1535448713758.jpg?fit=400%2C41&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"400,41\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"The Conversation\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/The-Conversation-e1535448713758.jpg?fit=640%2C65&amp;ssl=1\" class=\" wp-image-11847 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/The-Conversation-e1535448713758.jpg?resize=166%2C17&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"166\" height=\"17\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"29413\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/why-you-shouldnt-want-to-always-be-happy\/happy-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/happy.jpg?fit=1200%2C771&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1200,771\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"happy\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/happy.jpg?fit=640%2C411&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-29413\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/happy.jpg?resize=640%2C411&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"411\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/happy.jpg?w=1200&amp;ssl=1 1200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/happy.jpg?resize=300%2C193&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/happy.jpg?resize=1024%2C658&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/happy.jpg?resize=768%2C493&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000080;\"><strong>By Frank T. McAndrew<\/strong><\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In the 1990s, a psychologist named Martin Seligman led the positive psychology movement, which placed the study of human happiness squarely at the center of psychology research and theory. It continued a trend that began in the 1960s with humanistic and existential psychology, which emphasized the importance of reaching one\u2019s innate potential and creating meaning in one\u2019s life, respectively.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Since then, thousands of studies and hundreds of books have been published with the goal of increasing well-being and helping people lead more satisfying lives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">So why aren\u2019t we happier? Why have self-reported measures of happiness stayed stagnant for over 40 years?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Perversely, such efforts to improve happiness could be a futile attempt to swim against the tide, as we may actually be programmed to be dissatisfied most of the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You can\u2019t have it all<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Part of the problem is that happiness isn\u2019t just one thing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Jennifer Hecht is a philosopher who studies the history of happiness. In her book \u201cThe Happiness Myth,\u201d Hecht proposes that we all experience different types of happiness, but these aren\u2019t necessarily complementary. Some types of happiness may even conflict with one another. In other words, having too much of one type of happiness may undermine our ability to have enough of the others \u2013 so it\u2019s impossible for us to simultaneously have all types of happiness in great quantities.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">For example, a satisfying life built on a successful career and a good marriage is something that unfolds over a long period of time. It takes a lot of work, and it often requires avoiding hedonistic pleasures like partying or going on spur-of-the-moment trips. It also means you can\u2019t while away too much of your time spending one pleasant lazy day after another in the company of good friends.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">On the other hand, keeping your nose to the grindstone demands that you cut back on many of life\u2019s pleasures. Relaxing days and friendships may fall by the wayside.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">As happiness in one area of life increases, it\u2019ll often decline in another.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A rosy past, a future brimming with potential<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This dilemma is further confounded by the way our brains process the experience of happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">By way of illustration, consider the following examples.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">We\u2019ve all started a sentence with the phrase \u201cWon\u2019t it be great when\u2026\u201d (I go to college, fall in love, have kids, etc.). Similarly, we often hear older people start sentences with this phrase \u201cWasn\u2019t it great when\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Think about how seldom you hear anyone say, \u201cIsn\u2019t this great, right now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Surely, our past and future aren\u2019t always better than the present. Yet we continue to think that this is the case.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">These are the bricks that wall off harsh reality from the part of our mind that thinks about past and future happiness. Entire religions have been constructed from them. Whether we\u2019re talking about our ancestral Garden of Eden (when things were great!) or the promise of unfathomable future happiness in Heaven, Valhalla, Jannah or Vaikuntha, eternal happiness is always the carrot dangling from the end of the divine stick.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">There\u2019s evidence for why our brains operate this way; most of us possess something called the optimistic bias, which is the tendency to think that our future will be better than our present.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">To demonstrate this phenomenon to my classes, at the beginning of a new term I\u2019ll tell my students the average grade received by all students in my class over the past three years. I then ask them to anonymously report the grade that they expect to receive. The demonstration works like a charm: Without fail, the expected grades are far higher than one would reasonably expect, given the evidence at hand.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And yet, we believe.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Cognitive psychologists have also identified something called the Pollyanna Principle. It means that we process, rehearse and remember pleasant information from the past more than unpleasant information. (An exception to this occurs in depressed individuals who often fixate on past failures and disappointments.)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">For most of us, however, the reason that the good old days seem so good is that we focus on the pleasant stuff and tend to forget the day-to-day unpleasantness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Self-delusion as an evolutionary advantage?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">These delusions about the past and the future could be an adaptive part of the human psyche, with innocent self-deceptions actually enabling us to keep striving. If our past is great and our future can be even better, then we can work our way out of the unpleasant \u2013 or at least, mundane \u2013 present.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">All of this tells us something about the fleeting nature of happiness. Emotion researchers have long known about something called the hedonic treadmill. We work very hard to reach a goal, anticipating the happiness it will bring. Unfortunately, after a brief fix we quickly slide back to our baseline, ordinary way-of-being and start chasing the next thing we believe will almost certainly \u2013 and finally \u2013 make us happy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">My students absolutely hate hearing about this; they get bummed out when I imply that however happy they are right now \u2013 it\u2019s probably about how happy they will be 20 years from now. (Next time, perhaps I will reassure them that in the future they\u2019ll remember being very happy in college!)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Nevertheless, studies of lottery winners and other individuals at the top of their game \u2013 those who seem to have it all \u2013 regularly throw cold water on the dream that getting what we really want will change our lives and make us happier. These studies found that positive events like winning a million bucks and unfortunate events such as being paralyzed in an accident do not significantly affect an individual\u2019s long-term level of happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Assistant professors who dream of attaining tenure and lawyers who dream of making partner often find themselves wondering why they were in such a hurry. After finally publishing a book, it was depressing for me to realize how quickly my attitude went from \u201cI\u2019m a guy who wrote a book!\u201d to \u201cI\u2019m a guy who\u2019s only written one book.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">But this is how it should be, at least from an evolutionary perspective. Dissatisfaction with the present and dreams of the future are what keep us motivated, while warm fuzzy memories of the past reassure us that the feelings we seek can be had. In fact, perpetual bliss would completely undermine our will to accomplish anything at all; among our earliest ancestors, those who were perfectly content may have been left in the dust.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This shouldn\u2019t be depressing; quite the contrary. Recognizing that happiness exists \u2013 and that it\u2019s a delightful visitor that never overstays its welcome \u2013 may help us appreciate it more when it arrives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Furthermore, understanding that it\u2019s impossible to have happiness in all aspects of life can help you enjoy the happiness that has touched you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Recognizing that no one \u201chas it all\u201d can cut down on the one thing psychologists know impedes happiness: envy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\"><strong>Frank T. McAndrew<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">Cornelia H. Dudley <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">Professor of Psychology, <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">Knox College<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008080;\">* Published in print edition on 17 November 2020<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; By Frank T. McAndrew<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":139,"featured_media":29413,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8348],"tags":[26230,5891,27274,27273,13156],"class_list":["post-29412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-conversation","tag-emotion","tag-happiness","tag-measures-of-happiness","tag-positive-psychology","tag-psychology"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/happy.jpg?fit=1200%2C771&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8QzSF-7Eo","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/139"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29412"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29412\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/29413"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mauritiustimes.com\/mt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}