Is It Me or Them ? 

By D. C. WEST

I know full well that kids of 3+ can seem to do anything they want on even a complex computer. A 12 year old is a PC genius. For me, just switching it on is bad enough, and my wife can’t even do that! However, once on, I can write documents in WORD, and send and receive Emails. THAT however, was only until TODAY. Now even more hell has broken loose!

It appears I have a system called ADSL, which operates rather fast, and is essential for some jobs such as “downloading” some Web pages, but it uses a gadget called a MODEM, god knows whatever it may be, or whatever it does. I’ve used this set up without problems for some considerable time, but then had a succession of PC problems which had to be cured in a specialized shop. Now however, my servant’s son gets regular messages on HIS mobile, from MT or Orange, whatever difference there may be between these redundant systems, telling him that MY modem needs “upgrading” once EVERY Tuesday, or it will stop working. This I do not know how to do, so I have to get help from the neighbour’s son. Fortunately he is competent and generous with his time.

WHY is there always a NEW problem? Why cannot PCs and their dumb accessories be MANUFACTURED to upgrade themselves automatically? Computers are useful, but they drive me totally bonkers far too frequently. I have been tempted to use a sledgehammer on mine, and may well run out of control one day.

Like probably most people I use the damned machine for, at most, 3 jobs: (a) writing documents in WORD (or similar), (b) sending and receiving Emails, and (c) occasionally going “on line” to surf the WEB, e.g. to buy DVD films from Amazon in the UK, or my new Solar Telescope.

Every time Microsoft comes out with a new version of software it is far too complex to be easy to use, over-complex in its range of abilities, and, speaking generally, a bloody goddamned nuisance. My old 1998 version was by far the best. Then try, I MEAN TRY, to read the books people, uniformly imbeciles, write on the software. God help you!

Then the vocabulary: what the hell is a “blog”? And so on, ad infinitum

“Having consulted a good PC shop they advised me that this “new problem” is total rubbish, to disregard it entirely, and that if ALL users were required to update their ADSL rubbish weekly, nobody would ever buy ANY ADSL – EVER!!”


* Published in print edition on 16 December 2011

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